I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize