haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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