Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize