If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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