Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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