She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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