the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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