so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize