you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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