Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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