I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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