The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize