I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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