so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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