Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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