he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
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I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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