I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize