Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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