you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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