You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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