i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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