Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize