He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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