Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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