I want to have your abortion
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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