mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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