there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize