idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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