I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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