i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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