yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize