I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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