speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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