you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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