You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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