Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just high enough for therapy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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