never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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