Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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