You work out of a Hotel?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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