): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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