There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize