remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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