apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
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My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
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I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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