He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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