I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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