she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize