The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We are two peas in an std pod
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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