my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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