Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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