i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
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Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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